Above Reproach: Self-controlled (1 Timothy 3:2)

This week let’s consider the next qualification for being an overseer: Self-control.

Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled… (1 Timothy 3:2)

In addition to being above reproach regarding our marriages and mindsets, we must be above reproach regarding self-moderation. We must be ‘of sound inner outlook which regulates outward behavior.’ We must not be open to credible charges of being out-of-control or necessitating outside control.

This is a mark of wisdom and maturity. As Proverbs 25:28 says,  

A man without self-control
is like a city broken into and left without walls.

Without self-control, we have no protection against the desires of the flesh. We’re like a house with no doors. Sexual immorality and impurity can stroll into our lives at their leisure. Before we know it, sensuality and idolatry are squatting where restraint and worship are supposed to live .Enmity and strife are sleeping in our bed. Jealousy and fits of anger are riffling through our refrigerator. Rivalries and dissensions are hogging the remote. 

How can we install doors? How can we built walls? How can we pursue self-control?

1 Corinthians 9:25-27 says,  

Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, let after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. (1 Corinthians 9:25-27)

The word translated ‘self-control’ here literally means ‘dominion from within.’ Paul describes it as disciplining his body and keeping it under control. This is violent language, meaning literally ‘to strike under the eye’.

Athletes do this in pursuit of trophies that will collect dust on a shelf. We are pursuing something more valuable, and therefore have greater motivation to exercise self-control. 

It can take severity to strive for self-control in the areas in which we are tempted. It’s sweaty work to build a wall, especially while being attacked. It doesn’t happen by accident. It takes intention and effort, motivation and muscle.

• If you are tempted toward divisiveness, you will need to intentionally guard your speech and monitor the effect you have among people in the church. You’ll need to consciously aim for unity and discipline your tongue not to gossip, complain, or stir up discord between people.
• If you are tempted toward envy, you will need to identify your triggers. It might mean deleting your social media profiles and rededicating that time to serving people instead of stewing about the success, possessions, or lifestyles others.
• If you are tempted toward drunkenness, you almost certainly need to engage with expert help to quit. You may need to check into a Christian rehabilitation program.

So, in one sense, we should severely, even violently discipline ourselves in pursuit of greater self-control. But another way to look at it comes from Galatians 5:16-23.

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

While pursuing self-control involves disciplining the body, it’s also a fruit of the Spirit, meaning it’s something the Holy Spirit brings about in us. As we walk by the Spirit, we still experience the desires of the flesh, but we have the power available to deny them.

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Non-Christians tend to be ruled by these desires and require external constraints to avoid them. Rather than relying on external constraints, Christians have the supernatural power of God inside of them, producing traits like love, joy, and peace.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

We should see these traits growing in us as we grow as Christians. We should be more patient this year than we were last year. We should be more kind next year than we are this year. If we run into someone who hasn’t seen us in a decade, they should notice that we are better, more faithful, and gentler. In this sense, self-control should grow in us with the same natural inevitability as blueberries growing on a blueberry bush.

How do we balance these two factors in our own pursuit of greater self-control? How do we severely pursue greater self-control while surrendering to the Holy Spirit to produce the fruit of self-control in us? Let’s look at how Peter writes about it in 2 Peter 1:3-8.

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.

God has granted to us all things pertaining to life and godliness, including promises through which we may become partakers of the divine nature. Because of what God has done for us through Jesus, we have escaped the corruption of this sinful world.

These things are true for us apart from any effort on our part; but that doesn’t mean we just rest in them.

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Because of God’s power in us, we are to make every effort to progressively build Christian character, including self-control. The language here is of haste and speed. Don’t drag your feet when it comes to supplying yourself with these qualities. Make every effort to supply yourself with increased self-control.

We surrender to the Holy Spirit to produce the fruit of self-control in us by severely disciplining ourselves in pursuit of greater self-control. The Holy Spirit makes it possible and we exercise that possibility in our practical efforts to develop it. It’s as though the Spirit has given us a new muscle and now we get to develop it and make it stronger. 

So, if you’re struggling to control yourself in some area of life right now, remember what God has done for you. You have the Holy Spirit living within you. You have all the supernatural power you need to control yourself. 

What is one specific, practical, concrete step you can take this week to discipline yourself in this area? 

As always, if there’s any way I can be of help to you in any of this, let me know. We can encourage one another, because I’m working on increasing my self-control too.