Church Family (1 Timothy 5:1-2)

Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity. (1 Timothy 5:1-2)

Honoring the Elderly

This passage directly flows from the preceding verses, in which Paul is exhorting the young Timothy to use his gift of teaching faithfully. Arguably, the most quoted verse from this section is 1 Timothy 4:12, which states, “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”

This verse is still fresh on Paul’s mind as he advises Timothy on how to interact with various people in his congregation, especially the reference to “older” men and women. The Greek used here is presbuteros; this same word is translated as “elder” in 5:17, but here, as the ESV notes, it is speaking generally of more mature members of the congregation. 

To the older men, Timothy is told, “not to rebuke” but to “encourage him.” I love how Scot McKnight renders this; he notes, “Do not speak harshly to an older man.” The Greek word for “rebuke” or to “speak harshly” carries the idea of striking or lashing out, which is not to be done. Timothy is to use the Word of God “for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,” as 2 Timothy 3:16 states, but he must always go out of his way to do so in a way that honors those older than himself. 

I certainly wish I had read and reread this passage when I was a younger pastor, first starting in ministry. There were so many times I would come to an elder meeting ready to vision cast and share my plan for the church,  I would be prepared, I would have done my research, and I would be expecting unanimous approval and support. Yet after presenting, I would receive a lukewarm reception to my plans. This would leave me frustrated and confused. Finally, one of the elders took me out for breakfast and let me know that my plans were incredible and my ideas were great, but as someone who was the age of most of the elders’ children, I came across as arrogant, and it sounded like I was talking down to them. Paul’s advice to Timothy certainly would have helped me greatly in this situation. And once I changed my tone, engaged in more dialogue, and went out of my way to honor the elders, my plans were accepted! 

Family

Another important aspect of these verses is the references to the various members of your congregation as family: fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters. The idea that all of us have been adopted by God into his family was an important concept in the early church and helped create an incredible community that even unbelievers wanted to be a part of. I love the description of the early church given in Acts 2:42-47.

And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.

I especially love verse 47,  “praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.”

In a world that is supposed to be more “connected” than ever before, we are experiencing a pandemic of loneliness. People are feeling more isolated and depressed than ever before, despite having more material possessions and wealth. Paul’s advice to Timothy to treat those in his congregation like family members is rooted in the theological truth that all believers have been adopted into God’s family, but this desire for community finds its origin in the fact that we are made in the image and likeness of God and are meant for relationships. As pastors, we have a God-given task to treat the members of our church like family, and by doing so, we help create an incredible community that our people need and those outside the church long for. 

Absolute Purity

Last but not least, the phrase at the end of verse two is extremely important. 1 Timothy 5:2b, “younger women as sisters, in all purity.” I like how the NIV translates this as “​​absolute purity.” This command for purity applies to all relationships, but Paul, when addressing Timothy, directly connects the phrase to his relationships with young women. Not following this command has destroyed the ministries, marriages of numerous pastors, and has destroyed the faith of numerous victims.

I am actually writing this in a building that was once a megachurch, but due to the moral failings of the senior pastor, it has now been converted to a Christian School.

My master’s degree is in Christian apologetics, and in the past, I have spoken at conferences with Ravi Zacharias and others from his former ministry, Ravi Zacharias International Ministries, but as you are all probably well aware, the entire ministry crumbled due to sexual sin.

Sadly, I could go on and on citing examples of the consequences of not treating the members of your congregations with “all purity,” but I think you get my point. Be extra diligent when it comes to this area, set extra boundaries upon yourselves, have accountability partners, have online filters, etc. Do whatever it takes to be absolutely pure in your relationships with those in your congregations.  

I hope and pray that this has been a helpful reminder to all of you concerning how we are to interact with the members of our flocks that God has blessed us with. May our churches better reflect the family of God that they are supposed to be, giving our heavenly Father the glory he deserves, giving our members the community they need, and making those outside the church long for what we have. 

Thanks and God bless. 

Rev. Jeremy J. Cummings