Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome… (1 Timothy 3:2-3)
The word translated violent here comes from a root word meaning strike or smite. Literally, it’s the idea of punching people. Other translations render it “not a striker” and “not a bully.”
It’s best understood in relation to its contrasting positive: gentle. Gentle literally means equitable and fair. It’s used a lot in the New Testament, but we’ll look at two passages that make clear that violence and gentleness are parts of two opposing dispositions toward people.
Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. The saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works. These things are excellent and profitable for people. But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned. (Titus 3:1-11)
Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. (James 3:13-18)
From these passages, we can see that violence is part of a larger disposition that includes:
- Disobedience toward authorities
- Slavery to passions
- Malice and envy
- Hatred
- Jealousy
- Selfish ambition
- Proneness toward quarrels
In contrast, gentleness is part of a larder disposition that includes:
- Submissiveness toward authorities
- Readiness for good works
- Courtesy
- Openness to reason
- Fullness of mercy
- Impartiality
- Sincerity
- Proneness toward peace
This last quality leads us to the next characteristic in 1 Timothy 3, “not quarrelsome.” Because it’s so connected to the qualities of violence and gentleness, we’ll consider it here as well.
It’s the Greek word amachos. If you are apolitical you are not political. If you are an atheist, you are not a theist. And if you are amochos you are not machos, which means not a fighter.
Interestingly, James’ flow of thought from the passage above moves straight into a consideration of quarrelsomeness.
What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. (James 4:1-2a)
Now, you might be concerned that I am advocating for niceness in the name of Christianity. Many pastors are nice rather than gentle. The two are not the same. A pastor can have a backbone, speak the truth, and protect his flock from wolves without adopting the violent disposition we outlined above.
You can say the hard things that must be said, but you must speak the truth in love.
Remember, our fight is not against flesh and blood, but against the spiritual forces of darkness. So, as you relate to people this week, you must not be violent or quarrelsome. You must instead be gentle.
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Let's test those who wish to serve as deacons before throwing them in there. ”For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus” (1 Timothy 3:10).