Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable… (1 Timothy 3:2)
Because our task is noble, those who aspire to perform it must be irreproachably hospitable. To put it negatively, no one should be able to credibly accuse us of being inhospitable.
The Greek word is ‘philoxenon’. It grafts together the root words for ‘friend’ and ‘stranger’. To be hospitable is to treat strangers like friends. It’s used here and Titus 1:8 in a list of qualifications for overseers; but it’s used elsewhere as well. For example:
Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. (1 Peter 4:9)
In this verse, we see that hospitality is not only for strangers. It’s also for “one another” in the church. It’s a willingness to treat others like friends, whether we’ve just met them or already know them, but wouldn’t naturally befriend them.
In some cases, it’s easier to be hospitable toward a stranger than the off-putting, irritating, or hurtful person we see at church every Sunday. Sometimes we’re more prone to ignore or reject people because we know them and we’ve discovered that we’re uncomfortable around them.
I think this is part of why Peter includes the caveat “without grumbling” as he instructs Christians to show hospitality to one another. Hospitality can be grumblesome work. Anyone can be friendly to their friends; but hospitality is being friendly to non-friends. This may be an overstatement, but if you’re not tempted to complain about it, it’s probably not biblical hospitality.
This makes sense as you remember other passages indicating that biblical hospitality requires a heavenly mindset. The transcendent realities of God motivate true hospitality, not the natural affection we may or may not feel toward specific people.
Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. (Hebrews 13:2)
Now, before we address the angel in the room, let’s incorporate the word ‘entertained’ into our understanding of what the Bible means by hospitality. In this context, ‘entertained’ carries the idea of taking people into our homes to care for them.
So, if you immediately think of people visiting in your house when you hear the word ‘hospitality,’ you’re not wrong. Hospitality is a general openness to people outside our sphere of immediate family and friends and it often involves opening our homes to them as well.
Now to the angel part of this passage. This is sneaky stuff. Apparently, God has, on multiple occasions, disguised angels as strangers. And disguised them so well that Christians welcomed them into their homes, probably as overnight guests, without realizing they were angels.
As you let that sink in, consider Matthew 25:35-40. Here Jesus is describing those whom he will bless in the final judgment.
“‘For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’
Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
And the King will answer them, ‘Truly I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’”
When righteous people welcome strangers, even (especially?) the least welcome-able, they are, in a sense, welcoming King Jesus. ‘Welcome’ here means inviting into a gathering with you, possibly with those to whom you are closest. Here it’s associated with feeding, clothing, and visiting people.
So, we have a clear picture of hospitality emerging from these passages. It is treating strangers and difficult people as beloved friends without grumbling because of our transcendent love for God. It often involves opening our homes and providing for their material needs.
This quality must be increasingly evident in our lives as overseers. And we must look for it in those who aspire to the office of overseer.
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Let's test those who wish to serve as deacons before throwing them in there. ”For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus” (1 Timothy 3:10).